THE WORLD'S 10 MOST USELESS THINGS

1 Piece of wet string to a man with diarrhoea

2 Road drill to a Canary

3 Trombone to a Hedgehog

4 Left-handed hammer

5 Scale model of the temples at Ankor Wat in Sago Pudding

6-9 Milton Keynes

10 The Architect who designed Milton Keynes

1 Scunthorpe Floral Clock

2 The grave of the poet Arthur Trump*

3 Barnsley Lighthouse and Maritime Museum

4 The collection of bed pans at Lock Jaw Hall

5 Grimsby Museum of Inkwells and Dildos

6 The White Horse of Eccles

7 Milton Keynes New Town

8 Milton Keynes Museum of Strya-foam cups, Crocheted Poodle shaped toilet-roll holders and Brass Tubular Glass Lamps with globules of oil that float up and down inside them when they are switched on

9 Wolverhampton Town Trail

10 The house of Eric Doomesbury, Caretaker of ST Scropulous School

 

* Arthur Trump (1810 - 1902), Lesser known English Poet who wrote such lines as:

'T think that I have never seen a tree,

A tree that is not almost all over Green.'

He was shot dead in a duel after he insulted an American Oyster - opener in a bar near Wapping Old Stairs. He might have survived if he had brought a gun instead of a sword.