24 REASONS

WHY CUCUMBERS ARE

BETTER THAN MEN!

  1. The average cucumber is at least 6 inches long,
  2. Cucumbers stay hard for a week.
  3. A cucumber won't tell you that size doesn't mater.
  4. Cucumbers are easy to pick up.
  5. You can fondle a cucumber in a supermarket and know how firm it is before you take it home.
  6. A cucumber will respect you in the morning.
  7. You can go to the pictures with a cucumber and watch the film.
  8. At a drive-in you can stay in the front seat The cucumber can wait until you get home.
  9. A cucumber won't ask 'Am I the first?'
  10. A cucumber won't tell other cucumbers that you're not a virgin.
  11. Cucumbers won't make you wear kinky clothes or go to bed with your boots on.
  12. You can have as many cucumbers as you can handle.
  13. You only eat cucumbers when you feel like it.
  14. Cucumbers aren't jealous of your gynaecologist ski-instructor or hairdresser.
  15. Cucumbers aren't into meaningful discussions.
  16. A cucumber will never make a scene because there are other cucumbers in the fridge.
  17. No matter how old you are, you can always get a fresh cucumber.
  18. A cucumber won't care what time of the month it is.
  19. With a cucumber, you never have to say you’re sorry.
  20. Cucumbers don't leave carpet burns, fall asleep on your chest, or drool on the pillow.
  21. Cucumbers can stay up all night and you don't have to sleep in a wet spot.
  22. Cucumbers never answer the phone or borrow the car.
  23. A cucumber won't eat all your food, or drink all your liquor.
  24. With a cucumber, your toilet seat is always how you left it.