HOW TO KILL A SUFFOLK EEL

Little Jimmy was seven years old and like other boys his age he was curious. He'd heard a lot about courting and wondered what it was and how it was done.

He took his questions to his mother who became flustered, so instead of explaining it to him, she told him to hide behind the curtains and watch his sister and her boyfriend. So Jimmy did this, and the following morning explained what he had seen.

Sis and her boyfriend turned off most of the lights and then sat down. He then started hugging and kissing her. Sis must have been feeling ill as her face went funny. Her boyfriend knew this because he put his hand up her blouse to feel her heart, but it took him a long time to find it. I suppose he was getting ill as well because they both started panting and getting out of breath. I think his other hand was cold because he put it up her skirt. At about the same time, Sis got worse and started to moan and groan and she moved to the edge of the couch, saying she was getting really HOT.

Finally, I found out what was making them sick - a big eel had got lost in his trousers. It just jumped out of his pants and stood there about 10" long. H-O-N-E-S-T! ! Anyway he grabbed it to stop it from escaping.

When Sis saw it, she got really scared and her eyes went big and her mouth fell open. When she managed to speak, after getting her breath back from her shock, she said it was the biggest one she had ever seen. I should tell her about the ones down at the lake! Sis was brave and tried to kill it by biting its head off.

Suddenly she made a noise and let it go. I think it bit her back! She then grabbed it with both hands and held it tight while he took a muzzle out of his pocket and pulled it over its head to stop it from biting.

Sis then laid back and opened her legs so she could get a scissors hold on it, while he helped by lying on top of it. The eel put up a hell of a fight! Sis started groaning and squealing and her boyfriend almost upset the couch. I think they tried to kill it by squashing it between them. After a while they both stopped moving and let out a big sigh. her boyfriend got up and, sure enough, they had killed the eel. I knew it was dead because it just hung there all limp.

Sis and her boyfriend were a bit tired from the battle, but they went back to courting. Anyway, he started kissing her again and blow me!! the eel wasn't dead after all. It jumped straight up and started to fight again.

I suppose eels are like cats, they have nine lives or something. This time Sis jumped up and tried to kill it by sitting on it. After a struggle of 35 minutes or so they finally killed it. I knew it was dead because I saw Sis's boyfriend skin it and flush it down the toilet.

The eels in the lake aren't so hard to kill !!!!