When you have your next meeting with your Bank Manager to discuss your overdraft, here are a few things you should not say to him.

"Why are you such an ugly b**tard?"

"I thought only teenagers had acne."

"Stick a finger up you’re a**e and fish for your money."

"I’ve had your wife and she’s rubbish."

"Why are your ears stuck on back to front?"

"How do you spell pus-filled little toad?"

"May I urinate in your pocket?"

"I love you." "I want to marry you and live in a semi in Sidcup for the rest of my days with two kids, a dog and a four-birth caravanette."

"I hear your son steals cars."

"I met your daughter at the clinic."

"Don’t they make that suit in your size?"

"Are you still a virgin?"

"When did you last see your willy, you fat git?"