NOTICE on a packet of peanuts: Warning --- may contain nuts.

It sounds like a joke, but it is just one of the daft statements cropping up on shop packaging.

Others include: Do not iron on body; open packet; product will he hot after heating.

Stating the obvious began 20 years ago after an American woman stuck her poodle in the microwave to dry, sued the maker when it died and WON.

Ever since companies have feared lawsuits from customers who should have known better.

A notice in a Sainsbury's supermarket in London: "House plants are for ornamental use only and not for consumption."

Advice from Nestle on packets of Golden Grahams cereal. "For best results eat with your mouth closed."

An advertisement for a Rowenta iron advises .,not to iron on body."

A caution printed on a packet o Marks & Spencer bread and butter pudding: "Product will be hot after heating."

A message printed on the packet of nuts provided by an American airline advised: "Instructions open packet, eat nuts."

A warning on a Swedish chainsaw read: "Do not attempt to stop chain with hand."

Advice on wrapping of Nytol, designed to ensure a good night's sleep: "Warning, may cause drowsiness."

McDonald's coffee cups in America warn: "Contents may be hot."

The warning with a children's cough mixture says-: " May cause drowsiness. Do not drive car or operate heavy machinery."

Notice on a box of Christmas tree lights made in China: "For indoor and outdoor use only."

Printed on the bottom of Tesco's tiramisu dessert: "Do not turn upside down."

Instructions on a Japanese-made clock: "To replace a battery, take out the old one and insert a new one."

Caution on the packaging of a Korean kitchen knife: "Warning, keep out of children."

Baffling instruction on a food processor imported from Japan: "Not to be used for the other use."

Recommendation on a packet of Sunmaid raisins: "Why not try tossing over your favourite breakfast cereal."

Advice by Nokia on mobile phone. "Use only in normal position (to ear)."

Caution on a Sevylor PVC waterbed: "This item is not to be eaten."

Recipe for garlic bread from Tesco: "Blend all the ingredients except the French stick."