INSURANCE CLAIM STATEMENTS

THE FOLLOWING ARE AUTHENTIC, UNRETOUCHED STATEMENTS WRITTEN BY AUTOMOBILE DRIVERS WHO WERE INVOLVED IN ACCIDENTS. THEY ARE COLLECTED FROM INSURANCE FORMS IN, WHICH DRIVERS WERE ASKED TO SUMMARIZE THE DETAILS OF THEIR CALAMITIES IN THE FEWEST WORDS POSSIBLE.

    COMING HOME I DROVE INTO THE WRONG HOUSE AND COLLIDED WITH A TREE I DIDN'T HAVE.

    A TRUCK BACKED THROUGH MY WINDSHIELD AND INTO MY WIFES FACE.

    IN AN ATTEMPT TO KILL A FLY, I DROVE INTO A TELEPHONE POLE.

    I HAD BEEN SHOPPING FOR PLANTS ALL DAY AND WAS ON MY WAY HOME. AS I REACHED AN INTERSECTION, A HEDGE SPRANG UP, OBSCURING MY VISION AND I DID NOT SEE THE OTHER CAR.

    THE GENTLEMEN BEHIND ME STRUCK ME ON THE BACKSIDE. HE THEN WENT TO REST IN A BUSH WITH JUST HIS REAR END SHOWING.

    I HAD BEEN DRIVING FOR 40 YEARS WHEN I FELL ASLEEP AT THE WHEEL AND HAD AN ACCIDENT.

    AN INVISIBLE CAR CAME OUT OF NOWHERE, STRUCK MY CAR AND VANISHED.

    THE INDIRECT CAUSE OF THE ACCIDENT WAS A LITTLE GUY IN A SMALL CAR WITH A BIG MOUTH.

    THE TELEPHONE POLE WAS APPROACHING. I WAS ATTEMPTING TO SWERVE OUT OF ITS WAY WHEN I STRUCK MY FRONT END.

    I COLLIDED WITH A STATIONARY TRUCK COMING THE OTHER WAY.

    I HAD BEEN LEARNING TO DRIVE WITH POWER STEERING. I TURNED THE WHEEL TO WHAT I THOUGHT WAS ENOUGH AND FOUND MYSELF IN A DIFFERENT DIRECTION GOING THE OPPOSITE WAY.

    I PULLED AWAY FROM THE SIDE OF THE ROAD, GLANCED AT MY MOTHER-IN-LAW AND HEADED OVER THE EMBANKMENT.

    A PEDESTRIAN HIT ME AND WENT UNDER MY CAR.

    THE GUY WAS ALL OVER THE ROAD. I HAD TO SWERVE A NUMBER OF TIMES BEFORE I HIT HIM.

    I WAS BACKING MY CAR OUT OF THE DRIVEWAY IN THE USUAL MANNER, WHEN IT WAS STRUCK BY THE OTHER CAR IN THE SAME PLACE IT HAD BEEN STRUCK SEVERAL TIMES BEFORE.

    TO AVOID HITTING THE BUMPER OF THE CAR IN FRONT, I STRUCK THE PEDESTRIAN.

    I WAS SURE THE OLD FELLOW WOULD NEVER MAKE IT TO THE OTHER SIDE OF THE ROAD WHEN I STRUCK HIM.

    THE PEDESTRIAN HAD NO IDEA WHICH WAY TO RUN, SO I RAN OVER HIM.

    I SAW A SLOW MOVING, SAD FACED OLD GENTLEMAN; AS HE BOUNCED OFF THE HOOD OF MY CAR.

    WHEN I SAW I COULD NOT AVOID A COLLISION I STEPPED ON THE GAS AND CRASHED INTO THE OTHER CAR.

    THE ACCIDENT HAPPENED WHEN THE RIGHT FRONT DOOR OF A CAR CAME AROUND THE CORNER WITHOUT GIVING A SIGNAL.

    I TOLD THE POLICE THAT I WAS NOT INJURED, BUT ON REMOVING MY HAT, I FOUND THAT I HAD A FRACTURED SKULL.

    I WAS THROWN FROM MY CAR AS IT LEFT THE ROAD. I WAS LATER FOUND IN A DITCH BY SOME STRAY COW.

    MY CAR WAS LEGALLY PARKED AS IT BACKED INTO THE OTHER VEHICLE.

    THE OTHER CAR COLLIDED WITH MINE WITHOUT GIVING WARNING OF ITS INTENTIONS.

    NO ONE WAS TO BLAME FOR THE ACCIDENT BUT IT WOULD NEVER HAVE HAPPENED IF THE OTHER DRIVER HAD BEEN ALERT.

    I WAS UNABLE TO STOP IN TIME AND MY CAR CRASHED INTO THE OTHER VEHICLE. THE DRIVER AND PASSENGERS THEN LEFT IMMEDIATELY FOR A VACATION WITH INJURIES.

    THE PEDESTRIAN RAN FOR THE PAVEMENT, BUT I GOT HIM.

    AS I APPROACHED THE INTERSECTION, A SIGN SUDDENLY APPEARED IN A PLACE WHERE NO STOP SIGN HAD EVER APPEARED BEFORE. I WAS UNABLE TO STOP IN TIME TO AVOID THE ACCIDENT.

    I SAW HER LOOK AT ME TWICE. SHE APPEARED TO BE MAKING SLOW PROGRESS WHEN WE MET ON IMPACT.

    THE ACCIDENT OCCURRED WHEN I WAS ATTEMPTING TO BRING MY CAR OUT OF A SKID BY STEERING IT INTO THE OTHER VEHICLE.

    I WAS ON MY WAY TO THE DOCTOR WITH READ END TROUBLE WHEN MY UNIVERSAL JOINT GAVE WAY CAUSING ME TO HAVE AN ACCIDENT.

    I THOUGHT I COULD SQUEEZE BETWEEN TWO TRUCKS WHEN MY CAR BECAME SMASHED.

    I BACKED INTO MY NEIGHBOR'S PARKED CAR. IT WASN'T MY FAULT, HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE AT WORK.

Insurance Explanation for insurance form -

 

Dear Sir:

I am writing in response to your request for additional information in Block #3 of the accident reporting form. I put "Poor planning" as the cause of my accident. You said in your letter that I should explain more fully and I trust that the following details will be sufficient.

I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the accident, I was working alone on the roof of a new six-story building. When I completed my work, I discovered that I had about 500 pounds of bricks left over. Rather than carry the bricks down by hand, I decided to lower them in a barrel by using a pulley, which, fortunately, was attached to the side of the building at the sixth floor.

Securing the rope at ground level, I went up to the roof, swung the barrel out and loaded the bricks into R. Then I went back to the ground and untied the rope holding it tightly to insure a slow descent of the 500 pounds of bricks. You will note in Block #l 1 of the accident reporting form that my weight is 135 pounds.

Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, I proceeded at a rather rapid rate up the side of the building.

In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel, which was now proceeding in a downward direction at an equally impressive rate of speed. This explains the fractured skull, minor abrasions and broken collarbone, as listed in Section Ill of the accident reporting form.

Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers of my light hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley, which I mentioned in paragraph #2 of this correspondence.

Fortunately, by this time, I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold tightly to the rope despite the excruciating pain I was now beginning to experience.

At approximately the same time however, the barrel of bricks hit the ground... and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Now devoid of the weight of the bricks, the barrel now weighed approximately 50 pounds.

I refer you again to my weight in Block #l 1. As you might imagine, I began a rapid descent down the side of the building.

In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming up. This accounts for the two fractured ankles, broken tooth, and the severe lacerations of my legs and lower body.

Here my luck began to change slightly. The encounter with the barrel seemed to slow up enough to lessen my injuries when I fell into the pile of bricks and fortunately only three vertebrae were cracked.

I am sorry to report, however, that as I lay there on the pile of bricks in pain, unable to move and watching the empty barrel six stores above me, I again lost my composure and presence of mind and let go of the rope.

Sincerely,