Fun Things to Do in an Elevator

• Make racecar noises when anyone gets on or off.
• Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your Kleenex to other passengers.
• Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering. "Shut up, dammit, all of you just shut UP!
• Whistle the first seven notes of " It’s a Small World" incessantly.
• Sell Girl Scout cookies.
• On a long ride, sway side to side at the natural frequency of the elevator.
• Shave.
• Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering in side ask: ‘Got enough air in there?’,
• Offer nametags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.
• Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
• When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
• Lean over to another passenger and whisper: "Noogie patrol coming!
• Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.
• One word: Flatulence!
• On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go "plank " at the bottom.
• Do Tai Chi exercises.
• Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: "I’ve got new socks on!"
• When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: "Oh not now damn motion sickness!"
• Give religious tracts to each passenger.
• Meow occasionally.
• Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.
• Frown and mutter "gotta go, gotta go " then sigh and say "oops!
• Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected.
• Sing "Mary had a little lamb " while continually pushing buttons.
• Holler "Chutes away! " whenever the elevator descends.
• Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.
• Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce "You’re one of THEM! And move to the far corner of the elevator.
• Burp, and then say "Mmmm ... tasty!
• Leave a box between the doors.
• Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the button for them.
• Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other passengers "through " it.
• Start a sing-along.
• When the elevator is silent, look around and ask, "is that your beeper?"
• Play the harmonica.
• Shadow box.
• Say "Ding! " at each floor.
• Lean against the button panel.
• Say, "I wonder what all these do " and push the red buttons.
• Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.
• Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your "personal space. "
• Bring a chair along.
• Take a bite of a sandwich and ask another passenger: "Wanna see wha in muh mouf?
• Blow spit bubbles.
• Pull your gum out of your mouth in long strings.
• Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body.
• Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively.
• Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
• Wear "x-ray Specs " and leer suggestively at other passengers.
• Stare at your thumb and say, "I think it’s getting larger."
• If anyone brushes against you, recoil and holler "Bad touch!