Two guys were sitting on a bridge passing the time of day and drinking beer, and pretty soon they both had to take a leak.

Wanting to impress his companion the first guy said, "Gee, this water's cold."

"And deep," Said his friend.

A young guy had gone to his doctor for a routine check-up, and when he came in for the results, the doctor said gravely, "Jerry, I think you'd better sit down. I've got some good news and some bad news."

"Okay, Doc," said Jerry. "Give me the bad news first."

"Well," said the doctor, "you've got cancer. It's spreading at an unbelievably rapid rate, it's totally inoperable, and you've got about three weeks to live."

"Jesus," Said Jerry, wiping a bead of sweat off his brow. "What's the good news?"

"You know that really cute receptionist out in the front office?"

"You bet!" Said Jerry.

"The one with the big tits and the cute ass?"

"Right"

"And the long blond hair?"

"yeah, yeah," said Jerry impatiently.

"Well," said the doctor, leaning forward with Smile" I'm f**king her!"

Why do Jewish Princesses use gold diaphragms?

Their husbands like coming into money.

The nervous father-to-be was pacing outside the delivery room when finally the doctor emerged.

"Oh, doctor!" he cried, "is it a boy or a girl?"

"l'm afraid I have a bit of bad news," said the doctor gravely.

"l'm sorry to have to tell you that your child was not born complete."

The father's face fell, but he said, "Well, I'm sure it can have a happy and complete life in any case."

"That's no all," said the doctor. "l'm afraid your child has no arms or legs."

"Oh," said the father. "At least I understand they're doing wonderful things with braces and prostheses these days."

"lt's not going to be easy," said the doctor. "You see, your child was born with no torso.

In fact, your child is only a giant ear."

The father sighed and said, "Well, I'm sure my wife and I can make the best of it."

The doctor said, "I'm afraid that's not the worst of it. It's deaf."

A blind man and his friend Were walking along with the blind man's dog, when the dog simply raised its leg and pissed on the blind man's shoe. To his friend's astonishment the man reached over and proceeds to stroke the dog's back.

"What the hell are you patting him for?" exclaimed his friend. "The dog just pissed on you!"

"I gotta find out where his head is," said the blind man testily, "so I can kick his ass."

What did the leper say to the Prostitute?

Keep the tip.

Two nuns were taking a stroll through the park at dusk when two men jumped them, ripped off their habits, and proceeded to rape them.

Sister Gregory, bruised and bettered, looked up at the sky and said softly, "Forgive him, Lord, for he knows not what he does."

Sister Theresa looked over at her and said, "Mine does."

Two bishops were discussing the decline in morals in the modern World. "I didn't sleep with my wife before I was married," said one clergyman self-righteously. "Did you?"

"I don't know," said the other. "What was her maiden name?"

A drunk was staggering down the main street of the town. Somehow he managed to make it up the stairs to the cathedral and into the building, where he crashed from pew to pew, finally making his way to a side aisle and into a confessional. A priest had been observing the man's sorry progress and, figuring the fellow was in need of some assistance, proceeded to enter his side of the confessional. But his attention was rewarded only by a lengthy silence. Finally he asked, "May I help you, my son?" "I dunno," came the drunk's voice from behind the partition. "You got any paper on your side?"

Did you hear why Irish women can't use vibrators?

They chip their teeth.

Harry came into work on Monday feeling absolutely fine, and so was astonished when his secretary urged him to lie down on the sofa; even more so when his boss took one look at him and ordered him to take the day, if not the week, off. Even his poker buddies wouldn't have anything to do with him, insisting he go straight to bed. Finally, tired of resisting everyone's advice, he Went to See his doctor, Who took one look at him and rushed over with a stretcher. "But doctor," he protested, I feel fine." Well, this was a puzzler, conceded the doctor, who proceeded to refer to the enormous reference tomes behind his desk, muttering to himself. "Looks good, feels good.... No, you look like hell. Looks good, feels terrible.... Nah, you feel fine, right?" Thumbing furiously through another volume, he said, "Looks terrible, feels terrible.... Nope, that won't do it either." Finally, "Looks terrible, feels terrific... Aha! You're a vaginal"

What's green and slimy and smells like Miss Piggy?

Kermit's finger.

Two women are sitting on the front step, passing the time.

"Dam it," says one to the other, "my husband came home with a dozen roses. I'm gonna have to spend all weekend with my legs in the air." ,

"Why?. asks he friend. "Don't you have a Vase"

How do you f**k a fat girl?

Roll her in flour and go for the wet spot.

What's the difference between a bowling ball and an American girl?

Your can only fit three fingers in a bowling ball.

A young couple was making out feverishly on her parents' sofa a few days before their wedding.

"Oh baby," moaned the groom-to-be, "please let me see your breasts. I just wanna look."

His fiancee blushed and protested, but unbuttoned her shirt.

"Oh honey," he moaned, "let me kiss them."

"Don't you think we should wait till the wedding?" she asked, but it was already too late.

Pretty soon he was begging her to take off her panties. "I just wanna loot I swear," he panted.

"I really think we should wait till the wedding like we said we would," she said, but was finally persuaded by the fact that he was just going to look.

Well, she was adamant about not letting him kiss her down there, insisted that was something special they should wait for.

But after a good half hour of artful argument he had his way.

Only to stick his head up a moment later and say anxiously,

"Baby, you think that'll keep till Sunday?"

The newlyweds had never slept together and were most eager to consummate their union. The bride in her eagerness insisted on undressing the groom, but stopped dead upon removing his shoes and socks, finding his toes grossly misshapen.

"Not to worry," the groom explained. "A case of toelio when I was a child." .

The bride proceeded apace, only to stop again with an expression of shock on her face once she had taken off his pants.

"Nothing but a childhood case of kneesles," he reassured her.

Down to the basics, she reached for his jockey shorts. "I know, I know," she interrupted before her husband could say a word, "nothing but a case of smallcox."

What did the elephant say to the naked man?

"How d'you breath through that thing?"

What's long and hard and full of semen?

A Submarine.

What was the first thing Adam said to Eve?

"Stand back! I don't know how big this thing gets?"

What's the definition of "small?"

"ls it in yet?"

The routine practice of circumcision was part of a certain doctor's job, and he found himself reluctant to throw the foreskins away after the operation. So he saved them all up in a jar of formaldehyde. Many years went by, the time came for the doctor to retire from practice, and when cleaning out his office he came across the jar, which by this time contained hundreds of foreskins. It seemed a pity to throw them out after all this time, so, certain that they could be put to some use, he took them down to the tailor around the corner and asked that he make something with them.

"No problem," said the tailor. "Come back in a week."

A week later the tailor proudly presented the doctor with a wallet. "Now wait just a minute!" protested the doctor. "There were literally hundreds of foreskins in that jar, and all I’ve got to Show for it is a measly wallet?"

"Relax," said the tailor. "You rub it for a little bit and it turns into a briefcase."

A man came into a bar, sat down at the bar for a drink, and noticed that there was a horse ;n the back of the room with a big pot of money in front of it.

"What's that all about?" he asked the bartender.

"You gotta put a dollar in the pot" explained the bartender, "and you collect the pot if you can make the horse laugh."

The guy went over to the horse, whispered in its ear, and the horse cracked up, fell over, and rolled on the floor in laughter. And the fellow picked up the pot and walked out.

Five years later the same guy walked into the same bar and saw the same horse at the back with another big pot of money in front of it "lt's not so easy," said the bartender "This time you gotta make the horse cry."

The guy walked over to the horse, and in a matte r of minutes the horse fell to its knees, sobbing as though its heart were breaking. The guy picked up the pot and was on his way out the door when the bartender stopped him.

"Hay," he said, "at least tell us how you did it."

"Easy," said the guy. "The first time I told him my prick was bigger than his, and the second time I showed him,"

Did you hear about the masochist who said to her boyfriend,

"Give me nine inches and make it hurt."

He f**ked her twice and slapped her

A young Irish girl was hitch-hiking and a big truck pulled over to pick her up, The driver was a serious CB addict, and the dashboard boasted an enormous CB radio.

"That's the best radio ever made," he explained to the bug-eyed girl. "You can talk anywhere in the world with it."

"No kidding," she gasped. "Boy, I Would really love to talk to my mother in Ireland."

"Oh, yeah!"

"I would give anything to talk to my mother in Ireland."

"Anything?" he asked.

"Anything," she assured him.

"Well, maybe we can work something out," he leered, pulling his cock, by this time erect, out of his pants.

So the girl leaned over, bent down, and said loudly, "HELLO, MOM?"

What happens when a Jew with an erection walks into a wall?

He breaks his nose.

A little girl goes into Santa's grotto and says "for Christmas I want some hair around my fanny, like my big sister".

Santa says "That's no problem, do you mind if its grey".

A Panda picks up a girl at a disco , goes back to hers afterwards for a meal and then stays for 2 hours of passionate lovemaking.

As he gets up to go the girl says "that's £50 please, I'm a prostitute and if you look it up in a dictionary it will say "charges for a good time".

"Yes" says the Panda, "but I'm a Panda, and I don't have to pay. Look it up in the dictionary and it says "eats, shoots and leaves".

How do you stop a Jewish girl from fucking you?

Marry her.

A man gets onto a train and sits opposite a little old lady who is reading a book. 5 hours on she's still totally engrossed in the boot and the man's curiosity got the better of him. He said "Excuse me, but for the last 5 hours you've been totally engrossed in that book, would you mind telling me what it's about". The little old lady looked up and says

"No, F**K OFF".

Q. Why do women rub their eyes in the morning?

A. Cos they haven't got any bollocks to scratch.

Teacher says to the class,

"Today we'll move on and spell 4 letter words ".

A little boy puts up his hand and says I’ve got one.

"F"..."U"..."C"...

The teacher says, "be very careful Johnny".

"M"

The teacher says "what does that spell"

Johnny says "FUCeM".

Four nuns were outside the confessional, waiting their turn to ask forgiveness for their sins.

The first nun went in and said, "Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. I have put my finger on a man's penis.

The priest said, "Say five Our Fathers and put your finger in holy water."

The second nun went in and said, "Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. I have put my hand on a man's penis,"

The priest said, "Say five Our Fathers and put your hand in holy water."

When she heard this, the third nun turned to the fourth and said, "Maybe you should go in first, Sister, since I'll have to sit in it after you gargle.

A lady gets out of the bath, slips on the bathroom tiles, does the splits and gets stuck to the bathroom floor with the Suction. Her husband can't get her up so he calls for the plumber.

He comes in with a tile cutter and starts cutting around the bathroom tile. The husband says you can't do that. Those tiles are Halton tiles and cost £60 each.

So the plumber unzips his fly’s and starts playing with himself.

Her husband says "This is my wife, what do you think you 're doing ".

The plumber says "l'm going to get her excited, Slide her into the kitchen and take a tile up in there, they're only £1.99 each".

A man gets drunk at a party, and his friends call a cab to take him home. Once in the cab, the man starts to tell the cabby about his life: how lonely he's been since his wife left him, how hard his job is, how no one appreciates him.

"You seem like a nice guy," the drunk says.

"Yeah," says the cabby indifferently.

"What do you say? Do you think there's room in the front seat for a pizza and a couple of six-packs?"

The driver thinks about it for a minute and says, "Sure, why not?"

"Gee, thanks," says the drunk, leans over the partition and throws up.

A little boy walked into an ice-cream shop wearing a cowboy hat and a pair of six-shooters. He asked the assistant for an ice-cream sundae.

The assistant asked, "Do you want your nuts crushed?"

The little boy whipped out his guns, pointed them at her, and said, "Do you want your tits shot off?"

How does a Jewish couple perform "doggie-style" sex?

He sits up and begs and she lies down and plays dead.

Sally arrived home from her date on a cloud. She tossed her coat over a chair, her handbag over the banister; she threw the rest of her clothing around her bedroom with abandon.

The next morning at breakfast her mother asked if she had a good time.

"Oh," sighed Sally, "I had a wonderful time!"

"I guess so," her mother remarked. "Your knickers are still stuck to the ceiling."

Why isn't being a penis all it's cracked up to be?

You have a head but no brains, there are always a couple of nuts following you a round all the time, your next door neighbour is an asshole, and your best friend is a c**t.

A horny pair of teenagers are driving down the highway; they can't keep their hands off one another.

The young man, very a roused, says to his girlfriend,

"Lets pull over and do it by the side of the road."

"But people driving by will be able to see into the car," she protests.

The boy pulls over on an incline off the highway.

"Look, we'll get underneath the car, and I'll leave my feet sticking out If anyone comes by I’ll tell them I'm fixing the silencer."

Reluctantly, the girl agrees, so they wriggle underneath the car and start to make love. All of a sudden, the young man feels someone kicking his foot.

"And just what do you think you're doing?" a policeman asks.

Fixing my silencer,’ the boy replies.

"We II, you should have fixed your brakes first; your car's just rolled down the hill."

What's the difference between kinky and perverted?

Kinky is when you tickle your lover's ass with a feather.

Perverted is when you use the whole chicken.

Tom, Dick, and Harry went on safari, where they were set upon by a large tribe of fierce and hostile savages. Bound and helpless, they were brought before the chief.

Pointing to Tom, he Says, "You have a choice. Death or bunda."

Tom says "What could be worse than death? Bunda?"

He's seized and viciously sodomized by the entire tribe.

The next day the chief says to Dick, "Death or bunda?"

Dick, shaking, says "Bunda." He too is abused by the whole tribe.

The next day the chief stands in front of Harry and says, "Death or bunda?" Harry looks him straight in the eye and says,

"Death,"

"Terrific!" says the chief. "Death by bunda!"

A proud father gave his son twenty pounds and sent him off to the local brothel. On his way the boy passed by his grandmother's house and she called him in. He explained where he was going and she insisted that he save the twenty pounds and make love to her.

The boy returned home with a big smile. "How was it?" asked the father.

"Great, and I saved the twenty pounds," responded the boy.

"How's that?" his father asked.

"I did it with Grandma," the boy explained.

His father screamed, "You mean you f**ked my mother?"

"Hey, why not? You've been f**king mine!"

What do women and spaghetti have in common?

They both squirm when you eat them.

Mickey Mouse stood before the judge waiting for the verdict.

"Mickey Mouse, I cannot grant you a divorce since the court has found Minnie Mouse to be mentally competent," proclaimed the judge.

"But, your honour, l didn't say Minnie was crazy. I said she was f**king Goofy!" .

Preparing to walk through the dangerous woods to see her grandmother, Little Red Riding Hood puts her father's gun in her picnic basket. On the way, she is stopped by the Big Bad Wolf.

"Little Red Riding Hood, I'm going to rape you," growls the wolf.

Drawing the gun Little Red Riding Hood declares, "Oh no your not. You're going to eat me, just like the story says."

What do you call a gay Red Indian?

A brave f**ker.

A nun went to her Mother Superior to complain about the language of the construction workers who were working next to the convent.

Sister Margaret was Irish, so the Mother Superior was used to simplifying things for her.

"Sister Margaret, don't get so upset. Those men are just people of the earth. They call a spade a spade,"

Mother Superior explained patiently.

Still agitated, Sister Margaret replied, "Oh no they don't Mother. They call it a f**king shovel!"

Or the Irish hunters who got themselves all set up for a. weekend of hunting? They gathered their guns and the dogs and the ammunition and the orange hats and tromped about for hours, hint with no luck whatsoever. And when they came out of the woods at dust they looked around at all the other hunters, who were carrying braces of pheasant and quail, ducks and geese, even a deer or two.

"Gee," said one Irishman to his companion, "everyone else seems to be doing pretty well for themselves. Whaddaya think we could be doing wrong?"

"I dunno," said the other. "Maybe we're not throwing the dogs high enough."

An Irishman suspected his wife of infidelity and began to follow her movements. Sure enough, his suspicions were justified. Coming home from work early, he burst into the bedroom, catching his wife and lover in the act, and,. crazed with grief, he put the pistol to his own head.

"Don't laugh I" he shouted when his wife burst out in giggles. "You're next!"

The manager of a prosperous whorehouse in Ireland one night found, to his dismay, that he was short of girls for the evening's entertainment. Thinking quickly, he dashed out and bought several Inflatable fuck dolls, figuring that, given his average clientele, no one would know the difference. Soon he ushered a customer into a room that housed one of the new lovelies, assuring him he was in for an especially good time. When the customer came out of the room a little while later, the manager was waiting eagerly in the hallway. He winked at the fellow and asked, "Well? How'd you like her?"

"I don't know what happened." said the customer, shaking his head. "I bit her on the tit she farted, and flew out the window."

Did you hear about the Irishman who had a penis transplant?

His hand rejected it.

"Help! Help" cried the young woman as she staggered up the steps of the police station. "An Irishman molested me!"

"How'd you know he was Irish?" inquired the sergeant at the desk.

"I had to help him," she gasped.

A Jew, a Hindu, and an Irishman were travelling together, and as night fell they came to a little country inn. The innkeeper explained apologetically that only two beds were available in the inn but that he would be glad to make up a comfortable cot for the third man in the barn. So the three travellers drew straws, and it fell upon the Jew to sleep in the barn. In a few minutes there was a knock on the door, to which the innkeeper responded. "I'm so sorry," explained the Jew, "but there is a pig in the barn, and my religion forbids me to sleep under the same roof as a pig." The Hindu had taken the next straw, and out he went. In a few minutes, though, there was another knock, and the innkeeper opened the door on the Indian fellow. Apologising gracefully, he explained that his religious persuasion forbade him to share shelter with a cow, and there was indeed such a creature in the barn. Finally, out went the Irishman. In a few minutes there was yet another knock on the door, which the innkeeper answered. On the step stood the pig and the cow.

Three guys were having an argument about who was more generously endowed. Finally, to settle the matter once and for all, they went to the top of the Empire State Building and proceeded to unzip their flies.

"Pretty good, huh," said Mat, whose cock was hanging all the way down to the fifty-seventh floor.

"I got you beat cold," said Bill, whose cock was dangling just below a window on the forty-ninth.

They looked over at the third guy, who was dancing a curious sort of jig, jumping from one foot to the other and peering anxiously over the edge of the observation deck.

"What the hell are you doing, Harry?" they asked.

"Dodging traffic, " he replied.

Chuck and his girl spent a fun evening in the park just petting. Now they were running to catch the last bus.

"Put your fingers in your mouth and whistle to the driver!" suggested the girl.

"Not on your life!" replied Chuck. "I’d rather walk!"

Two old farmers were strolling through a pasture when one Stopped and remarked, "Here's where I got my first shag and right over there's where her mother stood."

"Her mother!" cried the other farmer. "What did she say?"

"Ba-a-a-a-a," came the reply.

An elderly gentleman visited his doctor with the complaint that he believed he was becoming impotent.

"When did you first become aware of this problem?" the doctor asked.

The old man replied, "Yesterday afternoon, twice last night, and again this morning."

Calvin picked up a Park Avenue hooker and made it with her Standing up in an alley. She kept nodding every time he thrust.

"You like it, eh?" he asked.

"Yes," she nodded vigorously. "But you've got a bit of my scarf tucked in."

Lorraine: I’ve got an awful headache!

Lois: When I have a headache my husband soothes all the pain away; all he has to do is to rub the

back of my neck then caress my forehead lightly, then plant a little kiss on my mouth and before

you know it the head-ache is gone! Why don't you try it?

Lorraine: I think I will. When does your husband get home?

There once was a poofta named Broom

Who invited a guy to his room.

They argued all night

As to who had the right

To do what, with which and to whom.

There was a young fellow named Lancelot

Whom the neighbours all looked on askance a lot

For whenever he'd pass A presentable lass,

The front of his pants would advance a lot.

A pharmaceutical company was conducting a survey in the suburbs of Chicago to see if their products were being purchased.

The interviewer knocked on a door and asked the housewife, "ls Vaseline a product used in your home?"

"Yeah" said the woman.

"We use Vaseline when we have sex. We put it on the doorknob so the kids can't get in."

Jerry was visiting his married friends Ethel and Richard.

"Rich, I can't help it," said Jerry. "Ethel turns me on something fierce. If I could pinch her on her backside just once, I'd give five thousand dollars!"

"For that kind of money," said Richard, "I don't think Ethel would mind. Go ahead, pinch her."

Ethel leaned over a chair and exposed her behind.

Jerry looked long and hard. Finally, after about five minutes, he said, "I just can't do it."

"Why not," asked Richard. "haven't you got the nerve?"

"No, I haven't got the money."

Dave and Tracey had been married thirty years and never missed a night of connubial bliss. One day Tracey visited her doctor and was told that she must have complete rest and quiet for six month or she would not live.

Dave and Tracey decided they should stay completely apart during this period. She moved into an upstairs bedroom and he remained downstairs.

After three months of complete abstinence and solitude, his willpower collapsed, and Dave started for her bedroom.

As he started to climb the stairs, he saw her coming down.

"Dear," she said, "I was just coming down to die," "l'm glad, honey," he said, "because I was just going up to kill you."

The stunningly stacked babe appeared at her door in a strapless evening gown that defied gravity.

"Groovy!" said her admiring escort. "I don't see what holds that dress up!" "Play your cards right," she murmured, "and you might."

"Will be the first to do this to you?" whispered the groom as he slipped into bed.

"What a silly question!" giggled the bride. "I don't even know what position you're going to use yet."

IDEAL HUSBAND

One who is well off and good on

Sybil leaned across the bed, picked up the phone, and said, "Yes, dear," into it.

"That's all right, don't hurry. Enjoy yourself. Goodbye."

When she hung up, the man lying beside her said,

"Who was that?" "My husband."

"What did he Want?"

"He called to say he'd be home late tonight. He's downtown playing poker with you and a bunch of the boys." .

The groom went down to the hotel lobby to smoke a cigar while his bride was undressing, as she was too shy to undress while he was present.

When he came back up to their wedding suite he found her lying stark naked in bed on top of one bellboy who was copulating with her, while a second bellboy was playing with her boobs. She was holding a third bellboy, and two more were waiting their turn.

The bridegroom was thunderstruck.

"Madelaine!" he exclaimed. "How could you?"

"Oh, honey," she replied, "you know I've always been something of a flirt."

A group of 100 freshmen from an upstate college each contributed $2 to the kitty. When the money was collected, they drew lots to see which one would visit Violet, the town's call girl, who charged $200 a visit.

That night, the winner, pimply-faced Horace, went to Violet's apartment and handed her the money.

"That's a lot on money for a college boy to have," said Violet. Horace explained how each guy had put up two dollars and had drawn lots to see who would enjoy her favours.

She was touched by the story. "l'm going to do something that I've never done before," said Violet. "I'm going to give your back your money." Then she gave him back his two dollars.

A recent survey of male sexual practices revealed that after intercourse:

Twenty percent rolled over and had a cigarette.

Two percent washed.

Three percent went to the refrigerator for a snack.

Seventy-five percent got up, dressed, and went home.

Loretta lowered her lashes and whispered, "Kiss me goodnight."

So Bob kissed her on the navel,

"Why did you do it there?" she asked with surprise.

"Oh," he answered, "I wanted to see what you'd open first

- your eyes or your legs."

Why does an elephant have four feet?

Eight inches isn't enough.

What do you do when you come across an elephant?

Wipe it off.

What's the difference between a rooster and a whore?

A rooster says cock-a-doodle-doe; a whore says, "Any cock'lI do."

Little Herbie had been blind since birth. One day at bedtime his mother told him that the next day was a very special one. If he prayed extra hard, he'd be able to see when he woke up in the next morning.

The next morning she came into Herbie's room to make sure he'd prayed hard the night before. "Well then, open your eyes and you'll know that your prayers have been answered."

Little Herbie opened his eyes, only to cry out, "Mother! Mother! I still can't see!"

"I know, dear," said his mother. "April Fools".

What's brown and white, lives in the forest, and doesn't have a mother?

BAMBI.

What do you call a fat Chinaman?

A chunk.

How is a man like a snowstorm?

Because you don't know when he’s coming, how many inches you'll get, or how long it'll stay.

Do you know why the British Navy ships came back from the Falkland Islands full of sheep?

War Brides.

A Black couple took their young son for his first visit to the circus, and by chance their seats were next to the elephant pen. When his father got up to buy some popcorn, the boy piped up, "Mom, What's that long thing on the elephant?".

"That' s the elephant’s trunk, dear," she replied.

"No, not that."

"Oh, that's the elephant's tail."

"No, Mom. Down underneath!"

His mother blushed and said, "Oh, that's nothing."

Pretty soon the father returned, ant the mother went off to got a soda. As soon as she had left, the boy repeated his question.

"That's the elephant's trunk, son."

"Dad, I know what an elephant's trunk is. The thing at the other end."

"Oh, that's the elephant's tail."

"No, Down there."

The father took a good look and explained, "That's the elephant's penis."

"Dad, how come when I asked Mom, she said it was nothing?"

The man took a deep breath and replied, "Son I've spoiled that woman."

What do a walrus and Tupperware have in common ?

They both like a tight seal.