Then these are for you. Just two flats left in this exclusive block. The 21st floor apartment has to be seen to be believed. Comprising a vast open plan living area that allows you to place rooms in the position of your choice. The two available flats overlook some of the finest scenery in Oxford, and although you shall be living in a "multi living block", we believe you shall have very little disturbance from neighbours. Obviously high rise living comes at high rise prices, but we at S.H.I.T. Properties can offer a one year let at either the 20th or 21st floor flat - and there really isn’t much between them, at £200 a week, with everything thrown in... or out.

Viewing by special arrangement. S.H.I.T. Properties have there own crane to take you to the top of what many people have given their right arm...and leg...and neck for.

S.H.I.T. Properties are proud to announce that we are able to offer students the opportunity to live in Oxford’s most original Georgian prop-erties: "Blitzkrieg Lodge". No remod-ernisation whatsoever has taken place on this property thereby retaining this house with all its original features, including the bomb damage acquired during the months of 1940. The lucky student who will reside here will enter house through the Georgian front door, through the lengthy hallway, decorated throughout in Laura Ashley’s mother, and complete with wall to wall oily linoleum. Up the original Georgian staircase to the stunning first floor flat.

Previously the home the famous Irish O’Squatter family the were removed...moved on in 1985, and for the past three years S.H.I.T. Properties have designed to the requirements of student living. "Blitzkrieg Lodge" is ideal for up to 50 students, and will be available for £120 per week, per bed. A strange arrangement? We think not. We believe you can fit up to twenty double beds in the grand sized room, so really it up to you how many beds you wish to accommodate. There is "key money" deposit of £350 per bed, and this shall be paid by every applicant that wishes to view this outstanding property.

Exclusive to S.H.I.T. Prop-erties. Unpronounceable Chalet. This wooden framed building is so unique to Oxford that the development company has decided against windows, walls, plaster etc.

A timber cabin that gives you a unique view of the world outside. Just complete, Unpronounceable Chalet is the sort of home to get those Scandinavian chicks panting. Total open plan, made from the finest Dutch Elm Disease, this is a house to turn heads and comes with a ten week warranty against falling through the floor and breaking your legs.

S.H.I.T. Properties feel that as this house is so special, working class students are recommended not to apply. S.H.I.T. Properties do NOT want hob nail boots, tin bath tubs, and potted fish paste adorning this European Property of immense style. So, Eton and Harrow educated students should write in the first instance to S.H.J.I.T. Projpertijes, Oxfjord - explaining why we should take the £1050 per month rent we will be asking. With a home that you can call a house, there will, of course be "fixtures and fittings" deposit required, although there actually aren’t any fixtures or fittings. We cannot tell you what the "fixtures and fittings" deposit will be as we intend to put this up for tender.

After a tiring day at college why not retire to your own farmhouse in the country? If you’d be happy as a pig in shit, S.H.I.T. Properties have just the place for you: DERELICT FARM. A house retaining all its original features; open fireplaces, rising damp, dry rot, stone floors, can be yours, but S.H.I.T. Prop-erties warn you, it isn’t cheap? For £600 a week you can have this house - on a three month renewable lease - and the swamp that comes with it. S.H.I.T. Properties are prepared to furnish Derelict Farm to the owners taste - but does have an upper limit of £5 per item.