I'M FINE THANK YOU.

There is nothing the matter with me,

I'm as healthy as can be,

I have arthritis in both of my knees,

And when I talk, I talk with a wheeze.

My pulse is weak and my blood is thin

But I'm awfully well for the shape I'm in.

 

Arch supports I have for my feet

Or I wouldn't be able to be on the street.

Sleep is denied me night after night,

But every morning I find I'm aright.

My memory is failing, my heads in a spin

But I'm awfully well for the shape I'm in.

 

The moral is this as my tale I'll unfold,

That for you and me who are growing old,

It's better to say 'I am fine' with a grin,

Than to let people know the shape we are in.

 

How do you know that my youth is all spent?

Well, my get up and go has got up and went.

But I really don't mind when I think with a grin

Of all the grand places my get up has been.

 

Old age is golden I have oft heard it said,

But sometimes I wonder as I get into bed,

With my ears in the draw, my teeth in a cup,

My eyes on the table until I wake up,

Ere sleep overtakes me I say to myself,

'Is there anything else I could lay on the shelf?'

 

When I was young my slippers were red,

I could kick my heels right over my head.

When I was older my slippers were blue.

But still I could dance the whole night through.

Now I am old, my slippers are black,

I walk to the store and puff my way back.

I get up each morning and dust off my wits,

I pick the paper and read the obits,

If my name is still missing, I know I not dead

So I have a good breakfast and go back to bed.