Twas The Night Before Christmas

And All Through The House

Everybody Felt Shitty

Even The Mouse

Mum At The Whorehouse

And Dad Smoking Grass

I’d Just Settled Down

For As Nice Piece Of Ass

When Out On The Lawn

I Heard Such A Clatter

I Sprang From My Piece

To See What Was The Matter

Then Out On The Lawn

I Saw A Big Prick

I Knew In That Moment

It Must Be Old Nick

He Came Down The Chimney

Like A Bat Out Of Hell

I Knew In A Moment

The Fucker Had Fell

He Filled Up Her Stockings

With Pretzels And Beer

And A Big Rubber Dick

For My Brother The Queer

He Rose Up The Chimney

With A Tremderous Fart

The Son Of A Bitch

Blew My Chimney Apart

He Swore And He Cursed

As He Rode Out Of Site

Piss On You All